Having one of those weeks?

I am. I have been very raw the last week. Short on patience and very tearful. Can't really put my finger on anything in particular, just low. I'm not hormonal, not pregnant and all I can think of is the devil. Really, I'm just so blah. I feel guilty for how unsettled I feel and my reactions are not really all that good by night time.

There has been a lot of animal death here on the farm which does not help the mood. I had an out loud chat with God and Satan today.

I am again reminded of how weak a person I really am and how God is the only reason I keep on keeping on.

I am certain Lillian's condition roller coaster is the driving force, but it is not at the forefront of my mind most of the time. I pray and pep talk myself each night. I'm just funk-i-fied I guess. A funk, for sure.

Going to spend the afternoon at a friends house on the lake, the girls will swim and Lil' and I will watch. fun in the sun and then it is off to VBS.

PS- Is it July already?? How is that possible?

Squire Boon Caverns June 2010

Waterfall that you actually walk over....

In front fo the rim dam

Rim Dam

Because our local community offers a summer reading program, our girls were able to earn free coupons for the caverns, which I thought was totally cool. All of them managed to earn them relatively quickly so I planned a little excursion after Lillian's not so great doctor appointment. We had a very fun day and the girls really enjoyed the cavern tour. Some place I'm sure we will travel to again. I had been to this place when I was fifteen and have always wanted to go again. Matt was able to take the day off and we had a nice family day. Helped to keep my mind of the days' earlier news for sure. The cavern was more than 90 ft below ground and has one of two of the US's cave rim dams with a huge water fall. I may be screwing up the real history, but it was something like that. It is also the world's 2nd largest living cavern. Our tour guide was great and full of information. There is a little village to look around with a candle making shop, working grist mill, and soap making shop. Although the heat was unbelieveable outside we still had a great time. I was surprised at how much the kids really enjoyed it.

Memorial Day Memories

Grandma going down the drive with Lillian, Rebecca and Isabelle

Matt retaliating against Lois (our niece) for the second picture from this one...

All the grub

Lois and Matt, it's a love/hate relationship...not really.

Another sweet pic...

We had a nice day, good weather and good food. We had invited some extended relatives, but noone showed. Had a great day anyway. A new tradition in the making?

Another day.

School is out huraah huraahh! We are having a great summer so far. Trying to get a pool filled and making plans for play dates and all such good things. BUT- today is a hard day. Today, I once again had to leave the kids with Grandpa so we can prepare for our overnight stay at the hospital, again. I realize how fortunate we are, I really do. These particular days, however, are so hard emotionally on my "normal" children. They are scared and worried and want to be home. I know it is difficult for them to process. The littler ones anyway. I know this. I don't know, though, why it hurts me so much. It seems like I should be accustomed to it by now. But still my heart aches as they call me crying wanting to come home and just go to a babysitter. It makes me doubtful and it basically just breaks my heart. I wish it would get easier.

Wonder how many times that thought crossed Jesus' mind? I wonder.

Tomorrow will hopefully be the final chapter of the tracheostomy, but if it's not, then oh well, on we trod.

There will be more days like these ahead, this I know.

Scrapbook pages and cards

This is an accordian style keepsake book filled with little envelopes. Envelopes were preceding..stinkin' blogger...;)

I seem to have a butterfly fettish?? I also love leaves. My hubs makes fun of me...

Loved this card, but super time consuming...but also lots of fun! Note the tiny button "sprinkles"

This was part of our Labor Day activities

In hindsight (I tried later, but it would have destroyed the paper) I would have put the picture in the 'sky' of the page and printed my journaling on vellum so I could still see the images on the bottom of the cute paper.

Tip- try journalin on vellum, that way you can still see your cute papers.

Hoedown, 'F' page.

More labor day, why in the world can't I move my pictures around in blogger anymore...a little frustrating, I might say...

Our church started hosting craft days one Saturday a month and I've been able to attend two so far. It is great. Everyone brings their cricut...(which I am now proudly owning bc my wonderful hubs got me one for Mother's Day!!!) We share ideas, fellowship, of course we have snacks and we get to work all day long. It is truly a great way to get things done. (we could probably get more done if we didn't chit chat so much, but still productive) It is also interesting to see how other folks work. I actually met someone who solely does two page layouts. I shudder at the thought...lol. I just try to take really good pics and I do as many pages as needed to finish. Lots of times, I have other folks that give me good pics and I want to include those too. Try not to limit myself.

Now that I've shared some stuff, I'm a-hankerin' for some more. I want to work on stuff. My papers and stickers call to me. *sighs* I fear I must probably do the dishes first and then run some errands. A days duties are never done...

Many Many Babies

We are now the owners of 4 dogs and 11 puppies. Yes, our female dog just gave birth yesterday. She had 12, but the seventh was still born. They are such cute little things, actually not really, the quite remind me of the muskrat out in the pond..hee hee. It was also the first times the kids were able to witness a live birth. I thought Rebecca would die..she came in so upset...her- "mom, mom, something's wrong, the baby is covered in plastic" I had difficulty not giggling when trying to explain to her that is was all normal. When they saw the Mama eating all the yucky stuff, I really thought someone was going to lose their lunch. Never a dull moment.
I really am in disbelief that she had so many. So, in 8-10 weeks if you are looking for a new four legged friend--holla.

Aside from a massive explosion of puppies we currently have three litters of kittens, totalling nine new kitties. I know you are saying to your self, are those people crazy?? Well, the answer there is probably yes. But seriously, when we moved here, the owner of the house left several outside cats, enough said. We had our dogs scheduled to be neutered/spayed, but they couldn't get them in for a week and half. Even after separating and leashing them in separate stalls, they still mated. I think I may have to get a weekend job to afford all the critters. Mercy. Praying we are able to find good homes for them when the time comes.

It is H-O-T, hot here today and slightly muggy, not really comfortable weather to be outside. Unless you are just lazing on the porch anyway.

I tried a new recipe today AND I used my pressure cooker and was quite happy with the results. Even the kids liked it. I had my microwave, breadmaker, and pressure cooker going at the same time and was moderately concerned about blowing a fuse, but all was well, and dinner was had in a very timely fashion. It is going in the recipe file. Apricot chicken. I think I'm making some cinnamon bread that I found on another blog, and trying yet another new recipe for supper tonight. Broccoli and sausage penne. Should be interesting. I love the website Allrecipes.com, if you are looking for some new things to try, it is a great resource. I have found some gems there.

I'm off to make dinner and surrender the computer to Madeline, who has informed me that I've "been on for hours"...ummm, yeah, right. How was your weekend, try anything new? Need a puppy??

Under Pressure

I bought a pressure cooker. I've been wanting one for quite a while and finally took the leap and got one. It is the electric variety and I L-O-V-E it. I've made four meals in it so far and it has not been a disappointment. Here's the trouble...I need more recipes. Do you suppose I could just swap crock pot recipes? I'm just not sure. I love to cook and have lots of cookbooks, but in today's society I think the pressure cooker has gone by the wayside. I'm also excited bc we planted our first garden and I will be able to can in it as well. Who of you uses the almighty pressure cooker?? Got any good recipes? Are you afraid to cook under pressure? I assure you, it is safe, fast, and the results are scrumptious.

I also planted my first herb garden this year. I thought, at the time, I don't need to mark what they are, I'll know what they are when they are grown....well, that is a good theory, and I do know, HOWeVER, cilantro and flat leaf parsley are very similar, so I'm relying on my taste buds to help me out. LOL. It would also have been interesting to know what was what in it's baby stages. Oh well, live and learn.

Track has ended for Bethany and it is so nice to not have to leave and pick her up every day at five. I feel like my evening has returned. School will be out soon and we can enjoy summer and all that is has in store.

What are your summer plans? Do you have a garden?