Tuesday, August 16, 2011

What you hear if you're listening.

I'm sitting here listening to the whir of the dishwasher and smelling my mocha something or other in the scentsy burner. I just put Lil on the bus, enter the house, and realize how much I can HEAR when noone else is around. I hear the air conditioner kick off and on, the dishwasher, the cars running down the road, so many things. So opposite from the norm around here with a family of seven. It led me to think about my week and the other things I've "heard" this week. Let me back track a little. Last week, I seemed to have something challenge me at every turn. It seemed as nothing I did ran as smoothly as it could or should have. I think I spent a couple days in a row complaining to my mom about how annoyed I was when she said to me...."well, Michelle, I think God is trying to train your patience, and when you learn the lesson, I think less of this will happen." Well....I just could not believe my Mother was lecturing me on patience. Seriously, me? Impatient? Many thoughts poured through my mind, I was immediately annoyed that she would think I was needing more patience. Had she forgotten the last four-five years of my life?? Really, I thought, how wrong she was to say such a thing. I was patient, probably more so than her. I even went to the length of calling my sister and complaining about that. Sheesh. In the midst of the previous week, I had a friend from church whose Mother was slowly dying. I prayed about it all week, asking the Lord to end her suffering. She was nothing more than a shell, barely hanging on and it just seemed like needless suffering for her, for my friend, for the family. I was sitting in the tub Friday night, chatting in prayer with God. I was praying for him to call my friend's mother home. I was questioning His reasoning for allowing her to be in this state, why could he not just call her home? Bang, smack into my thoughts came the words, mind you I'm still mid sentence of my reasons of not understanding, "Be patient, wait on me". It was like a smack to the face. My immediate thought, well, this must be something I need to share with my friend. The Holy Spirit had surely shared these words with me so I could share them with my friend. I continuned to pray, and it was revealed to me, No, Michelle, these words are for you. It brings me to tears as I think about it. My week of little insignificant issues were just that, insignificant. I shared the story yesterday with my sister, and today felt it weigh upon me to also tell my Mom. Much as I hated to admit it to her, because you know I'm just human.... I told her. I still can't say I love knowing it, but she said to me, God tried to use me to tell you, but when you wouldn't listen he brought it to you himself. Even at 35, I'm still a child of the King, being taught, being stretched, being guided through whatever means necessary. Maybe it's a lesson in patience as well as listening. Thank goodness He never gives up on His children.

Monday, August 8, 2011

Following Up

So, my mass or area of dense tissue went from being 9 cm to 3 cm, so that is good news. The disturbing news....the radiology report didn't read ANYTHING like what the radiologist actually said to me on the table. Now, I admit I was a little off my game that day, but I'm not a total loon, I do know what she told me. The "dense tissue" is still there and I'm to monitor it to check for change. Hmph. Also bothersome, I have to have another mammogram in six months, yay me. Really stoked for that experience again. Bleck.

We went on our first family camping trip last weekend. It was insanely hot, but we did enjoy ourselves and hope we can someday secure a pop up camper to make the experience more enjoyable and more frequent. I was so relaxed. It really was a great time. Unfortunately we came home and Lillian got really sick...so did I...and so did Isabelle. Not so relaxing.

This day, in particular, has been very trying. I'm tired and this stupid cold or whatever it is is still just hanging in there. Lillian is on TWO antibiotics and now has TWO oozing ears. What I want to do is have a two year old tantrum and call it a day, but I won't. This too shall pass. School resumes on Thursday and I really long to have my kids home a little longer, they are anxious to go back, and I guess, it will get a little quieter here during the day.

Overall, we had a nice summer, time in our neighbors pool, church activities, and most of all just good quality family time. Before I know it, Christmas will be on us and another year will pass. The older I get, the faster it seems to go.