Wednesday, May 27, 2009

The Blog Phenom

I am absorbed into a world of of lives of people I've never met. My prayers have expounded by leaps and bounds as I read and meet each new "person". I've cried tears for folks I've never seen face to face. I read about their lives wanting to reach out and touch or give them a hug, but all I can offer is a prayer.

I've also been blessed beyond measure. Inspired by faith of many. Found comfort in the words of others. Reassurance from those walking the same road. God's peace from the prayers of others who have found my blogs.

I'm immersed in the blog phenom. I'm thankful for what I learn and experience through it.

I pray I may be a blessing to others. That my faith my touch another or lead them to a personal relationship with the Lord.

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Catching my Breath

I'm baaaa-aaaack (two syllables). Ok, so I was never really gone, but haven't really had time time to write here in personal blog. So let me catch you up, in case you aren't reading about my little peach . Lillian had her cleft palate surgery and it went as well as it could. She had some unexpected bleeding post op, but evened out late into the night. She is still dealing with pain issues here at home, so we are trying to stay on top of that. Feedings are pretty much a nightmare, but that has been her life. No surprises there. Problem is, now it causes her to bleed when she's puked and puked so that is totally NOT fun. I'm now setting my alarm at the four hour mark to deliver her pain meds through the night and it worked last night, so I have high hopes for tonight. We really have not had to splint her arms since the first day after surgery.

Ok, so the rash on my face is slowly fading....hal-ley-loo-ya. School is almost out, so the rash is likely to, just kidding. I enjoy summer break, there is just adjustment to be made. We are still moving at the end of June. I'm getting excited, but totally not too pack. That is entirely overwhelming. I'm not sure how we will manage with Lillian either. I'm sure it will all be fine. I'd be interested in any willing volunteers!!! :)

Still addicted to Farm Town, if you are on FB, play farm town, you'll never look back...hee hee hee, soon I shall have throngs of neighbors. (sorry, I feel Nutjim just popped in for a moment)

The other girls are all doing well, however a few nights ago, Lillian was snoozing and I was sitting here in the living room and Madeline came screaming in the back door. You know that scream that gets you up immediately because you know that is the scream that means something is really wrong....well, I meet up with her into the dining room where blood is streaming from her nose, sorry, her entirely purple nose. She had been running on the pavement after a ball, tripped and scraped her face from chin to forehead. It was AWFUL. I'm trying to stay calm so she will calm was so not pretty. After some ice and tylenol and bleeding stopped she headed back outside and now has some serious road rash right up the middle of her face.

Our adopted cat had kittens about three weeks ago and we've never seen them. About three days ago, she brought one to the house. We figured the other ones had died. Um-no. Today, by noon time we had a total of four. They are the cutest little things you've ever seen. Anyone want one??

I think that about sums things up from here. Life is moving right along, God is good and he has seen us through even more new experiences.

OH wait, my sista, Renee gave me an award!!! Thanks girl!! Go on over and check her out, she's a hoot!!

And this is a pic of my Grandma and older girls from March when Lillian was in the hospital.

Monday, May 18, 2009

In Memory

Sunday morning I woke to the news that my Grandmother died, unexpectedly, in her sleep. My grandpa, her husband passed away not quite a year ago.We all were anticipating his death due to his ongoing illness, it was a blessing when he was no longer in pain. Grandma, on the other hand, although she had health issues, had not been suffering and bedridden. I'm hurting. I'm hurting because I loved her. She was a prayer warrior. She loved her family and she had a contagious laugh. I'm hurting because my Dad has lost both his parents in less than a year and he is the one who has to hold it together because everyone else is falling apart. I'm hurting because my Dad has noone to find comfort in when he goes home at night and is alone with his thoughts. I can't be here for him because my child is having surgery that must be done. Now my tears are blurring so much that I can't see to type. I have peace because I know she is with the Lord, but the grief of our earthly loss still remains. I'll miss you Grandma. I won't forget the way you laughed or how you always asked me to keep my babies when they were born. I'll smile when I remember how you went through every person's name in the family before you got to mine. I won't forget how you pretended to understand what we were saying even when you didn't. (she had lost her hearing and read lips) I'm glad you are with Jesus, a man you met late in life and loved with all your heart. I'm glad you are back with Grandpa and the sisters who went before you. I loved you and I'll miss you.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Counting Down

Have I mentioned the long awaited surgery date is creeping up on us?? I have a rash all over my face and neck from nerves. Happens to me sometimes when I'm stressed. It doesn't itch or anything, but I look like I have some kind of leprosy. My family is like "what is wrong with your face" well, now, that is truly a loaded

We have finished with concerts from choir for Bethany (and this last one was excellent. Much better than previous performances in my opinion) note to self, remember to email teacher about that. and I think Rebecca has one more to go and then it is a break for the summer. Rebecca really wants to join the band....ugh, we just do not have the ability to buy an instrument at this point. The girls are very edgy, I think they are just ready for summer break. I feel like we will lose most of the summer with moving. I am looking so forward to planting a garden and growing some stuff---oh and an herb garden I always wanted an herb garden!! Matt thinks I'm nuts because I want to can stuff, but I'm totally into it. It'll be a next year thing as it will be too late in the year to plant most things.

Have I mentioned I'm obsessed with Farm Town on Facebook? Um-yeah, I keep telling myself it's just a game and it doesn't matter if the crops die....

It seems as if I've done lots of running of errands lately and my bfff Jennifer has been riding shotgun, so to say, with me so I don't have to take Lillian into germy environments. God bless her, she's been around Lillian a lot but I kind of threw her to the wolves for being able to suction and such....but she has been great.

I found out today that Lillian's Medicaid has been re-approved...whoo hoo. I guess all it takes is three different document deliveries and having a crying breakdown on the phone with the caseworker. We have been so blessed that our primary insurance has been so good, but I know it wouldn't cover all of Lillian's medical needs. SIHO has been a huge blessing as well. Now I guess, I can relax for the next year until its time to do it again. Although Lillian is considered medically disabled, because Matt has a 401k plan she cannot receive disability medicaid which does not consider income. If he wasn't saving for his retirement, she'd qualify. Now there's something to ponder.

It is raining cats and dogs here in good old Indiana. I don't mind the rain though. It's soothing. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't want it to rain ALL the time, but this is nice. Come to think of it, it was raining last Wednesday.

So, you know I have this goose on my front porch, Belinda. (Yes she has a name, stop laughing, I told you I belong in a rubber room) I need new wardrobe for her, in my spare time..(hehehehe) I could probably make her some clothes...anybody out there got a pattern they'd send me? I'm a dork, I know, but hey, it makes me happy. I'd even post a pic here, but I must have deleted her from my pics....

MOTY moment, I put my lovely little daughter in her bed bc she fell asleep while I rocked her int he recliner, turned on all of her equipment and after some time found she seemed to be coughing a lot. HELLO- turn on then PUT ON. Ahhh, just aspire to be like me...

I'm wanting to start a weekly Bible study with one of my IRL friends. Anyone have any suggestions for good studies? I need some positive stuff going on. Not that I don't have anything positive, but I need to start studying ALOT more of my Bible. I feel pretty good in my prayer walk, but my Bible reading is seriously lacking. True confessions.

I think the randomness is done, I know this post was pretty unorganized....

Monday, May 11, 2009

A Gathering of Mothers

Today held a multi-generation gathering of mothers and daughters. I went to my sisters (who made us all lunch) and my Mom and her Mom, my grandma and most of our children were in attendance (minus Lillian) There was eating, more eating, and more eating. Talking, re-telling of stories, sharing recent events, tears and reflections, laughter---ahem and I did not laugh so hard that I peed my pants whilst running to the bathroom. All in all a nice day, although my children were their normal selves...which included grumpiness at times and hatefulness to each other off and on. The drive up was yuck, but coming home was fun as we played games and chatted.

Most of all today, I thought of my friends who's Mothers are no longer alive and also Mothers who have lain to rest their children. It was a sobering thought. I realized how blessed I was to still have my Mom, Grandma, and daughters still in my life. How quickly it can be gone. I think Lillian's surgery has me very antsy which led my reflections to this place. I am blessed. Blessed beyond words and no matter how much I complain I will never take for granted how blessed I am.

Thank you Lord for blessing me to be a Mother, for giving me a loving Mother, Grandmother, and Sister. Thank you for my these women and others who teach me everyday how to be a good mother whether they realize it or not. In Your Sevice...

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Good Clothes, Good Prices, Good Idea

That, my friends, is the Goodwill motto. I rarely have good luck when shopping at my local Goodwill store, however, today was not the case. As you will see by the pics.

Some New Glassware-has a bubble motif going up and down-I mean come on, glasses get broken here daily.

Stride Rite Light up tennis shoes for Madeline

Black casual corner sleeveless (i'm breaking out of my shell, I figure if people don't want to see my fat arms they shouldn't look) Stiped dress shirt to go with my brown pants.

flower print dress from New York and company that is LIKE NEW that thankless daughters "don't like" Skirt and tank outfit for Madeline.

DuckHead blue Jeans for me. (fat girls can rarely find good, nice jeans at Goodwill)

Also got the cutest purse ever, but I couldn't find it to take the pic as oldest child took off with it.

Found it!!!
I love Goodwill.

Kids ran at Millrace Park today. It was for the Elementary schools and Matt said my girls were the only ones there from their school. They had a great time.

Here in a bit, I'm off to make some dessert to take to our Mother's Day dinner. Happy Mother's Day to all!!

Friday, May 8, 2009

This post brought to you courtesy of PMS

I love waking up in the morning to hear my DH griping about me when he thinks I'm asleep. Actually criticizing would be the right word....

I clean, cook, do laundry, run the kids, take care of the finances, handle any and all doctor appointments, handle all insurance issues, schedule all appointments here to and fro, the groceries, oh yes, and just the smallest task of caring for our daughter with many health issues-I do all this and a lot more without complaint. It's called parenthood---welcome to the party. I absolutely cannot stand the criticism behind my back. I hate the passive aggressive crap and I hate to be waken when I'm up half the night taking care of Lillian only to be being bashed---in front of the kids while he's sitting in a chair doing NOTHING.Oh and lets not forget that despite how tired and emotionally exhausted I am I also need to be a love goddess at midnight when I'm finally able to get my sweet little peach asleep with NO help.

Once again, not complaining, I love being a Mom and I'm happy to do what I do. But please don't criticize. I'm hard enough on myself.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

My life is so not boring

Let's see, apart from dealing with unending vomit, other interesting events have a tendency to go ahead and take place on the Halcomb Homestead. All the kids were playing outside yesterday, and you surely must know, when my kids are out every neighbor kid in the area is here as well...anyway, they all come stampeding into the house....scared and bug eyed. They swear to have seen a man walk by the house cussing someone out on the phone and carrying a gun in his pocket. They were totally wigged out. So I corral them all in the front room and venture up to the liquor store---right in front of my house---(no not for booze) (stop laughing, I know I probably should be an alchey but I'm not) (I can be Nutjim all without the help of liquor)

whoo, man that was a rabbit trail....

anyway-the store had their doors all open and it is right by my house and I thought they may have seen something, but they did not. The guy in there points out a cop to me and I hail the cop down and tell him what I know---which is very little. Cop takes off and I go back home. Send all the little children back outside and about ten minutes later I cop with lights and sirens heads off in the same direction. Madeline came busting in this house like a little white tornado. LOL.

Long story short, the kids make multiple trips into the house because said "gunman" keeps popping up around the general area. I finally have to send everyone home and call my kids in bc seriously it was getting way out of hand. I mean it's just sheer nuts to try to calm my kids and 5 others in assorted ages....(God bless all you teachers in the World)

I wind up with an extra mouth to feed for dinner, bc lets face it, I can't hardly stand to send a kid home when I feel sorry for them. I decide to make a chocolate cake for dessert and in opening my cabinet to get the pan out, when am I greeted by but a little brown mouse. After screaming bc I was so startled and sending the mouse back to his hideout, (also giving my hubs a mild heart attack as he was standing nearby) we were finally able to have dinner and get extra child sent home and get the kids to bed.

I found myself doing dishes at 1030pm because I'm so sick of looking at dirty dishes in the morning AND I'm out of paper plates AND my other dishes are packed, so I finally sat down for the evening at 1100.
I've also become addicted to Farm Town in Facebook...I like growing my crops and tending the fields of my friends. Had to wait to harvest my crops so they wouldn't die then I headed to bed. Only to be asleep for an hour to hear the afore mentioned mouse making a racket in the pans and causing my little rat terrier a great deal of stress. She wanted to get herself a mouse. So I lay awake fearful that she would somehow get the mouse and bring her to bed with us. UGH. I'm afraid to even look bc Matt put a sticky trap in there, and I don't want to find it.

I swear I could guest appear with Bill Engvall, Larry the Cable Guy, and those other fellows that tell all the Redneck jokes. I would be rich.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Not much to say

Very little has changed here since yesterday. I will be taking Lillian to the doctor tomorrow. Her feedings went even worse today than yesterday, sighs.

Monday, May 4, 2009

This is Me

Did I say I wasn't uber concerned about Lillian's puking? Well, I don't know who that person was typing....but I totally am. I am totally consumed with her well being and I bounce between let it go and let God and welling in to tears. You know how you worry when your kids are sick? My baby is sick EVERY SINGLE DAY. It is incomprehensible the feeling to see her little body slowly wasting away. To see her ribs and feel her hips protruding through her skin. It is insanely overwhelming to clean up volcanic vomit at every feeding. It is mind numbing to be wary of taking her out ANYWHERE.

I'm starting to have trouble sleeping. Being extremely tired, but not sleeping. Only to then fall asleep and dream about the surgery which really turns out to be a nightmare.

I loathe her pants hanging off her tiny bottom.

I'm tense

I'm running low on tolerance

I'm wishing I could bear the burden for her

Why oh why did He pick her and think I was strong enough???

This is just Me. No super human strength, no different than my neighbor, friends, or family. I'm not stronger or more loving or more anything.

Sunday, May 3, 2009


Addendum: My original post title was Myocardial Infarction, but I was scaring too many of my peeps! Sorry!! Read on....
For those of you who may not know that specific medical term, in layman's terms it's heart attack, which is what I had a mild one of this morning. If you'll recall my previous post, here, you'll remember my irrational fear of spiders. Imagine my horror when at two AM I was just beginning to fall into that pleasant pre-sleep when I felt just the brush of something on my forehead. I opened my eyes to see a spider floating right in front of eyes. Now, really, I can't tell you how I got out of bed-- but I was up and smacking at the bed like a crazy woman. I was in a full on panic trying to swat and kill said spider. ----backtrack two nights ago when I told Matt I was afraid some dust was going to float down from our 10 foot textured ceilings and land in my mouth----in the process of my spider-cidal rage I think I managed to hit Matt and he woke up in a panic----him"what??? what??? what's wrong??" Me- "spider" swat! Swat! SWAT! Him raising up---"where???" At this point I'm unable to point out or find the demon spider and am sure Matt's unhappiness at being awakened by my hysterics is going to rein down on me. Just then I'm thinking---uh oh- dust....when the devil spider started to make a break for it down the bed. I slammed that thing with my bed remote like I was trying to win the strength game at the fair-- you know the one where you take a mallet and hit the thing that goes up like a thermometer???

Ok, so then I'm totally awake, heart pounding have to settle back down to even get myself back to happy pre-sleep mode.

Stupid spiders.

Saturday, May 2, 2009

All Stuffed Up and Random thoughts

Let's see, I think on Thursday I started kinda feeling like I was getting a sinus infection. By Friday, I'm in full blown misery. Today I'm feeling some better. Not quite so head heavy. This is what happens to me when I don't get enough sleep. Sickness creeps in. Thankfully, it is not hanging on as it sometimes does.

Really don't have much to report from the Halcomb household. I missed school this week bc of being too paranoid to take Lillian in and then was just too miserable on Friday.

I love Fridays, have I ever mentioned that? No homework, usually. I get to sleep in bc Matt is home and I have him here to help me through the weekend. This of course comes to an end soon as he is going back to work on Fridays in a week or so. That is really a good thing as he will be back to working 40 hours.

I keep thinking how I didn't know how'd we get by with him missing so much work at Christmas and then being cut down to 32 hours and then missing so much work with Lillian in the hospital. We still keep getting through it...thank you Lord.

Only 17 days until Lillian has her palate surgery....fingers crossed. Time is moving right along.

I was actually able to bathe myself recently without any incidents. It has been suggested that I might want to remove Nair from my shower if I have it. I'm taking that advice to heart.