Going "home"

Today we took the girls down to my Dad's. Two of them are staying there for a couple days. As we drove, the closer we got the more I started to have an internal reaction to getting closer to the place I grew up. Similar to how I felt,as a child, when we traveled any time. I always felt a bit more relaxed as we drove into the small town where I went to school. It was sort of like a peace, just knowing I was "home". Since my parent's divorce, in the times that I've been there, I have left feeling sad and aching. Most often in tears as I made it to the next small town. I've never really understood it...and I guess, even though my Dad is there, it bothered me because the sense of my mother was gone from there. I guess these few years later, I'm finally comfortable being there again without her. He seems to be spending more time putting flowers and bushes around the property and cleaning out the large flower garden Mom had grown. Today, I regained that feeling of peace. Ironically, putting it into words is making me quite emotional...but overall, the good memories presided today.

Remember...

all those cards I was making for my sister in law? I got them finished today..

and with the help of Bethany,

Got my craft room cleaned up and organized.

So, Amanda came over and we crafted...woohoo!

Surviving the Crash

The ordeal finally ends. The money should be in the bank by Monday, and with the help of some good friends and attorney, I'll have a rental until Monday. That is all I wanted I still have to pay the additional insurance, but I'll have the van until then. It is so nice. It has been 15 years since I drove a new vehicle and it is lovely. I shall miss her when I turn her in. At least I'll have one smooth ride to KY on Monday. LOL. We have been offered a very good deal on a used van, basically an equivalent to the van we lost and we will picking it up later today. We really hoped to get something with 8 passenger seating, but alas, it is not to be. It got me to thinking though, we should really look at trying to get something newer when tax time rolls around again and try to start setting aside a "car payment" each month. This will also be the first time in years I've driven a vehicle that wasn't white. *shakes head* . I know color is no big deal, or at least I don't think it is a big dea, but I'm a little excited to have a vehicle with color. Again, I pray that this is my first and last car crash. Not something I'd like to experience ever. Really.

Sunday School Funnies

I'm teaching Sunday School for the preschoolers at church this month. I found how much I miss working with kids that age. I really loved working at the daycare I was once employed and this SS class has given me a little taste of that again. One of the little guys in my class has just kinda gripped my heart. He has the biggest brown eyes you've ever seen. I met him in the hallway this past week as his Mom was taking their baby to the nursery. I said to him, "Whaaazzzzuppp my brotha" (he's four) He started laughing so hard, it got me cracked up. We sat down in the classroom and he looked at me with these big sparkling brown eyes and said, "you are funny, I like you". We get on into the story, and there is a fly buzzing around the room and apparently his attention was focused on this fly, he says "there's a fly, they sit on poop" I just kept trying to go on with the story while giggling a bit and he still stalking " this like dung"...I'm telling you I just about lost it. It was totally hilarious. I was just hoping to keep the topic on Stephen and not flies and poop or dung. It make me laugh even today. We use this puppy puppet for a teaching point, and try to hide your surprise that Theo, the puppy came out singing shoefly, don't bother me. HA!!!

A Trying Week

This has been a difficult week. Starting off with car accident...don't misunderstand, I'm so thankful for the outcome of no injuries and of course walking away...there were so many blessings. Noone on the sidewalk, noone seriously injured and only rumpled cars to show for such an event. I, however, I am sleeping poorly. Riddled with nightmares. I have never suffered with nightmares. One once in a blue moon, but not like this. Each night is something I have fear of or one of us is getting killed or trying to be killed. I've never really cried over the whole ordeal, and you know I cry over just about everything...I keep telling myself there is nothing to cry about other than the fact that I had the crap scared out of me for a few brief moments.

For a week, it's been phone calls with insurance companies and transportation arrangements, having to fight for a rental, (battle still in progress) forms to fax, and life, life just to keep on moving.

Today, one week later, they have (as we figured) decided my van is a total loss and are willing to give us the smallest compact car on the rental lot. Now, should I be grateful? I am. I am glad they have accepted full liability. However, I lost the only vehicle that carried my family of seven. A tiny compact car will not do. So, I call and wait yet again. A very dear woman from church as offered me the use of her car during the day as long as I have need of it, and I'm very humbled and grateful for her sacrifice. Thankfully we live only a minute away from the church where she works each day and it is a good arrangement. So today, instead of rumbling to therapy in a very bouncy bus, I drove a car again for the first time in week. I have to tell you I was a little nervous. Probably overly cautious, if there is a such a thing.

I spent the day Saturday in the kitchen, breaking down my grocery trip. I had meat to separate and freeze and food to prepare for Sunday. I tried a new recipe for supper and it was well received, I'm sure that one is going in the vault.


This morning as I was getting ready for the day, I happened to notice a tote in my closet that I thought was empty, I pulled off the lid revealing a small pile of summer clothes hand me downs for Lillian. I was ecstatic. I thought they had been thrown out somehow when we moved. I was so relieved and thankful to have found them. I had recently ransacked the garage and basement searching for these clothes, knowing I'd saved them. Perhaps I should go back to labeling. ;)

I have turkey loins in the oven for supper tonight and realize I've run out of potatoes, I feel this is surely a main dish that calls for mashed potatos. Tomorrow we are having Sticky Chicken, and I'm wondering what I will serve with that if we have potatos tonight. Oh the decisions I'm plagued with each day...NOT. OH----

My sister, my dear sweet sister had her surgery Wednesday and it was an uncomplicated success. She is already back home in full recovery mode. She sounded like her old self last night on the phone. Keep those prayers coming, as I know there is so much more of the journey for her to travel.

I guess my rambling must come to an end, I still have thank you cards to make for my sister in law, and my deadline is drawing near. My craft room is an absolute disaster, I so want to get in there to clean and organize, but a sweet little four year old has decided the bathroom is her new play house. *shakes head* I had a moment yesterday, missing those days when I used to be able to rip a room apart and put it back together without having to stop nine zillion times....ah such is life as a Mom.

I went to sleep with thanks in my prayer

Yesterday afternoon I had to turn in some papers for Lillian's insurance that were due that day. Lillian had fallen asleep for the whole afternoon and even though I tried to wake her, she still snoozed away. The bigger girls got home from school and knowing I'd only be gone about fifteen minutes I left them here. I got the papers dropped off and headed home. Two minutes away from my house, I was driving along when I saw the other car. She had a stop sign but it was obvious to me she was not even slowing...I knew the inevitable was about to happen, I slammed on the the brakes and closed my eyes...the crunching of metal the impact of the hit and I open my eyes to still be travel down the sidewalk on the oncoming traffic side about to make impact with a telephone pole. My brain was thinking you are going to have to turn or you are going into that pole head first....I could feel the tightness of the seatbelt as it bit into my chest...I turned the wheel, clipped the pole and came to a stop. All I could think is get out get out, the airbags may still errupt. I thought, call 911, get out, check on the other driver. I stepped out to see the woman getting out of her mangled car and found my legs to have turned into jelly. Another driver, suggested I take my seat and then it hit me...thank God my kids were home, thank God I'm alive....oh my goodness thank God I didn't hit that pole head on. Every car crash I'd ever seen on tv flashed before my eyes. Thank God noone was on the sidewalk I barrelled down. It was the strangest sensation to walk away from the van, knowing it was probably never going to run again. I chuckle now as I think back, considering I thought i might just be able to drive down the embankment and go on home....

Last night, I dreamed of all the things I fear...fire, tornados, flood, evil presences. The best part of the dream? I was never afraid. Strange, though I was so close to all these things, I was not afraid. Thank God for keeping me safe. There are going to be challenges involved not having a vehicle, ecspecially with Lillian, but it will all work out. I'm just so grateful to be sitting in my dining room versus a hospital or a morgue. Could have been so much worse.