Monday, April 8, 2013

It's amazing

how your thoughts and mainly prayers change after you walk through a traumatic experience.  As I look back over my last 17 years, I think of each one of my pregnancies and how each of them were alike and how each of them were different.  Fast forward to having a child born that is seriously ill...walking through that and then embarking on yet another pregnancy.
 Having five girls, you can imagine with each pregnancy people are always asking if we are trying for a boy.  The answer is no.  I always had in the back of my mind that my third baby would be a boy and I simply couldn't believe it when the ultrasound tech told us she was a girl.  Funny right?  So here we are again, number 6 and the question is rolling in almost daily...are you trying/hoping for a boy? I'm a pretty black and white kinda girl.  It would be nuts for me to think that attempting to have another child would result in my "hope" for the opposite sex.  It's a 50/50 shot folks.
 I also believe I so took for granted having a healthy baby until I had an unhealthy one.  I would like to think that I prayed each time that the baby would be well and healthy, but in reality I'm not sure I did.  I know I always gave the standard, "no we're not trying for a boy, we just want a healthy baby" response to those inquiring minds.  I now find myself in prayer over every system in my baby's tiny, growing body.  I pray for a whole heart, healthy lungs...and so on and so on.  I have refused to allow myself to toil and fret over something being "wrong".  It would serve no purpose whatsoever.  I would be lying, however, if I did not confess that sometimes it crosses my mind.  I've been praying for an awesome problem free delivery, a less complicated pregnancy.  That's what I can do, that I KNOW will serve a purpose.
Just the thoughts of a crazy pregnant lady in this 13th week of new life inside.


Cheryl said...

Oh my word....CONGRATULATIONS!!! We were asked that time and again, as our first boy was #7 and no, we weren't "trying" either. In fact, when the midwife announced, "It's a boy" and my husband YELLED, I remember thinking, "Hey; I thought it didn't matter" *snicker. We did not own one "boy" outfit!

I'm so happy for you and ask the Lord for a safe and healthy pregnancy.

Finding Normal said...

I'm so very happy for you. I keep forgetting to tell you. I was in those shoes just a few months ago. I went to an ugly place in the second trimester, making myself sick with worry. Crying more than I should have. All the while knowing that (of course) it wasn't doing a single bit of good. And whatever was going to happen, would. A couple of my bloggy friends actually offered words of wisdom, and while they couldn't make my fears go away, they allowed me to feel "Normal" in them. Walking the journey again after seeing what we've seen takes a greater faith than I had for most of those long 9 months. And even now, he's here and he's huge and he's healthy, and my mind still plays Is This Normal?
All that is to say, try to exhale. It is all going exactly how it's supposed to, and that should offer both of us some peace.
Love you! said...

So nice blogger