As I sat down here to prepare to type, I stopped and did some quick catching up on my blogs....it really helped me to feel a little more peaceful being blessed by others.
Do you ever have those days where you just truly believe you are the most inept parent in the universe? I had to discipline Rebecca today with a spanking. Yes, I believe in spanking, though it is not something I like to do and choose as a very last resort....I do have to do it from time to time. I did not punish in anger, but it is true that it hurt me more than it hurt her. I mean seriously, failure is all I feel at times. Why does the devil prey on me so? I've been very discouraged and fighting against self pity and focusing on all the positive that happens out of bad situations...ie, flood, tornado....medically fragile child....but at night when I'm tired, Satan creeps in and starts working.
So, instead of worrying about how I will pay for the damages to the house, I will continue to be thankful that we were all safe and things could have been much worse. I will stop second guessing every parenting decision I make and know God has his hand on their lives and always will.
Did I mention I was asked to be a guest speaker at a women's retreat in September? I am totally humbled and would ask your prayer for peace, courage and the ability to share what God would have me share for His purpose. It's days like these that make me want to say um, sorry, I changed my mind I'm not fit to speak to anyone, but that is just what Satan would like....
I should also know in the midst of exhaustion that I'm not clear. Lillian had a very bad evening of trying to get to sleep, now she is settled and I've been able to vent a bit, so I think I will call it a night.