Did I say I wasn't uber concerned about Lillian's puking? Well, I don't know who that person was typing....but I totally am. I am totally consumed with her well being and I bounce between let it go and let God and welling in to tears. You know how you worry when your kids are sick? My baby is sick EVERY SINGLE DAY. It is incomprehensible the feeling to see her little body slowly wasting away. To see her ribs and feel her hips protruding through her skin. It is insanely overwhelming to clean up volcanic vomit at every feeding. It is mind numbing to be wary of taking her out ANYWHERE.
I'm starting to have trouble sleeping. Being extremely tired, but not sleeping. Only to then fall asleep and dream about the surgery which really turns out to be a nightmare.
I loathe her pants hanging off her tiny bottom.
I'm running low on tolerance
I'm wishing I could bear the burden for her
Why oh why did He pick her and think I was strong enough???
This is just Me. No super human strength, no different than my neighbor, friends, or family. I'm not stronger or more loving or more anything.