Tuesday, April 21, 2009


Years ago I had a friend and when we watched movies together and we wanted to get through the previews we always said FF instead of fast forward. I've found in the new world of modern technology and DVD you can't always FF. I am forced to watch the previews, the ads or commercials, things I'd just as soon skip. I WANT to see that movie...the happy ending. That is where I'm living...in the previews. All the medical fragility, the things that have to happen to improve her quality of life. I want to be able to push FF and see what life will be like in another year. I want to be able to see past all this sickness and not have yet another preview to go through. My Maker doesn't allow FF...as much as I think I need it.


Finding Normal said...

That's the struggle for me--learning to appreciate where we are right now and stop worrying about what's coming, how she'll develop, etc. I used to say (when she was an infant) that I just wanted to know that by 10 she'd be okay. LOL Apparently I thought skipping all this would be easier. I know it's a bit different for you, what with the constant medical issues and inpatient CRAP, but there is beauty in every day. I know you know that, and I know you look for it. Keep hanging in. I'm thinking of you, even if I'm not commenting over there...not sure how many people from Real Life are reading and I don't want to "out" myself to a lot of people. ;)

The VW's said...

I'm with you girl! Although, some days I think that ignorance is bliss, because maybe I don't want to know what the future holds for me and Gavin! But, I will FF to heaven! Hang in there and TRY to enjoy the previews! I'm praying!