Wednesday, April 15, 2009

I've come to unwind...

Today has been a very crappy day. I'm exhausted and hurting and worried. Lillian had to have some oxygen today and we know we are to be here for at least seven days. I'm tired. I'm tired I'm tired. She did have a few visitors today, although it was in the midst of the turmoil going on in the room and my bfff Jennifer brought me a care package...bless her heart. I should never ever complain, but I'm so tired of this. I get sick of people asking what she's exposed to and is anyone in the house sick....what does it freaking matter? She's sick now and it's noone's fault. She's just sick. I'm tired of asking professionals to be quiet bc she's sleeping only for them to stand over her bed and yack yack yack away. I'm tired of all the "students" and ten zillion doctors that ALL have to listen and ask the same stupid questions. Hello have a conference talk amongst yourselves.....READ A FRICKIN CHART. I miss my bath tub...and yes, that lovely spring in my bed. I'm tired of saying how the night went and yes she pukes bc she's coughing up her lungs. I'm tired of her being unwell.....and not being able to play and being racked by rib cracking hacking. I want to sit in a quiet place and cry and not be asked what's wrong or if there is anything they can do---the answer is NO. Gotta go--library closing.

8 comments:

Vickie said...

Oh sweetie! I don't know what to say. I am sorry this is happening. I wish doctors were more considerate.

Take care Hon!

The VW's said...

I AM SO SORRY! I know that there is nothing that I can do or say to really help you get through this difficult time. Just know that I'm praying and that I can totally relate to how you are feeling! Great job venting! Sometimes it's the only thing to help get those awful feelings out! It doesn't change the circumstance, but it sure does feel good to just get it all out! Hang in there! I'll be thinking of you!

angie said...

I know exactly what you're going through, and I did have to laugh when you said for them to read the frickin chart! Wow! Have I ever been there. You know what....unwind all that you want to....you more than deserve it. Hospital life SUCKS!!! Especially when there is no end in sight...then you get infectious disease involved and asking all of their crazy questions....and you just want to scream at all of them!! One time Em was in for a broken arm and one of the students came in and said he thought we should see genetics....I said to him, "Is THAT going to make her arm get better???". It all just gets to be too much!

Come here and vent away! I wish that I lived closer and could sneak a glass of wine in to you....just kidding I wouldn't REALLY do that (wink wink). You are a strong mama...just always remember that. YOU are the one who knows what is best:).

Hugs to you!

Finding Normal said...

Hang in, Warrior Mama. Cry. Sometimes they just need to see us get pissy. Wish there was more I could do...

Marissa said...

I am so sorry friend, I wish I could do more. Come and vent anytime you feel like it.

Love you,

Alicia

Mandy said...

I'm so very sorry! I truly can say that I know how you feel. I can picture you sitting in that library as clear as if I were sitting there with you!
I totally know what you mean about "read a chart"!
HUGS! I hope this all turns a corner soon!

Junior Mints said...

Lots of prayers from here. Try to rest and breathe. :)

John Deere Mom said...

Praying for you guys!!