My Little Family

Even Maggie gets in the picture!

Surviving Christmas

My Mom painted this picture and gave it to me.

Christmas held quite a story for us this year...a visit from Santa, ruptured water pipes, a seizure by Lillian, never a dull moment. Nothing like calling your pediatrician in the wee hours of Christmas morning. Honestly, despite all the ups and downs, I think this is the best Christmas we've had in two years. All of us together, the girls had a phenomenal time and we had a pretty good time with our family that came. We have received so many gifts that are so gracious and I feel so humbled to know that folks care so much about us. When there is not complete madness going on behind me, I will be more detailed, but just wanted to give a brief overview AND ask prayer for Lillian. At this time, we are not really sure what the problem is, so if you could pray for answers....

An Early Gift

Isn't this sweet...we wanted Lillian to have her own little rocking chair and Matt works with a guy who does wood working as a hobby. We had talked to him a little about it and he showed up today with this....and gift cards to the Vortex for the other girls. The rocker bottoms are made from a beam from an old barn...so cool.. A great keepsake to have forever!!

In other news, we had a water pipe burst last night and our microwave bit the dust last night too. A microwave seems so piddly, but in a family this large it's like a major neccessity! It's like the day for crazy things to happen. Lillian's respiratory supplies came in with lots of problems and our 1600.00 propane check bounced bc I made the deposit of the same amt on the same day as I wrote my check....that has been an insane issue. While I was nearly in tears from the stress of the issues above, I'm not harboring any of it. Mostly, I'm worried that the propane people think I purposely wrote them a bad check. UGH. Anywho, determined not to let it all fester. The devil is trying his best to distract me from the reason we celebrate this glorious time of year, the birth of our Savior. Praise God for giving us His Son!

BTW- The cleaning fairy has SO NOT made it to my house.....eek

hmmm

So much I need to do....I need to clean clean clean. Where are you cleaning fairy??? Here's my list,
1. Clean house
2. Make candy
3. Clean house
4. Finish Wrapping
5. Clean house
6. Get stuff ready for Christmas Eve
7. Clean house

Can anyone guess what I really really need to do? Tomorrow I am getting it all done, I work a lot better under pressure. I really don't have much to blog about...ran out into town today and and did not even dare go into the Vortex....so much stinking traffic I coudln't believe it. Went ot Aldi instead and it was really busy too. First time I've ever been there when they had three check out lanes open, but I think I'm all done with food shopping. If there need be anything else, I will be trotting down to the little store just a block from my house. I guess I should get off here and go do something productive.

Wishing everyone a very Merry Christmas!!

If this doesn't make you laugh...

Seriously...my kids can be so hysterical sometimes. This is Madeline, my six year old being completely silly, I know it's a dark video, but omgoodness....so so funny. I don't know what possessed her to start singing this song the way she was singing it, but i was doubled over in pain laughing. Enjoy!

Also, don't know if I mentioned, but we did do some cookie making a few days back. I was sorely disappointed in the way the cookies turned out, I mean as far as the actual dough and holding shapes, but the girls had fun decorating. Rebecca is not in the pics bc she was at a birthday party.

TRUST

A few things....I have five daughters, my "lucky" number has always been 5, the word TRUST has five letters. Even as I try to keep myself from fretting over the future days...let me share this...so far-

1. My BFF over at Finding Normal gave me this last week (somebody tell me how to do the linky thing)

2. Today, local radio station was submitted our family by one of my friends for a Christmas wish, they are giving us dinner at Texas Roadhouse for four, seven tickets to Kerasotes theatre, McDonald's gift cards, and a 25.00 gas card

3. Today, Finding Normal gave our family some Christmas gifts and along side a 50.00 gift card and cash in an envelope....she's a sneaky little elf.

Many things have been happening to us in the last few days that are just blowing my mind. Did they know I was fretting over having everyone home and not being able to do anything bc we have no money...and that's ok, but boring for the kids and here we go...movie tickets, dinner out, gas card...did anyone know that my freezer is almost empty and I'm scraping dinners together at night...here you go...money for food. I'm at an utter loss. It is just an amazingly humbling experience. In my mind I think I can never repay such kindness, perhaps I can someday pay it forward. We are so fortunate and as grumbling as I know I must sound, I am profoundly grateful.

Something to Laugh About

Ok, I just want to share these pics...oh the things you'll find when the Man gets a hold of the camera. Hold yourselves back, girls, he's all mine!

Next, my wee little daughter pitched a fit tonight until I caved in and gave her this. She sucked it until it fell apart...yes, it's an empty taco shell...who knew?

Snow Days....

My kids got a pass on school today thanks to ice covering the roads, so I'm here losing my mind. Trying to make Christmas candy that is not turning out as easy as I thought it would. They look terrible. Hope they taste good. I'm trying to get rotten kids to do laundry and imagine this, they just keep disappearing. Lillian has decided there is no napping for her today so she's walking around mumbling at me..."uh, uh, uh" louder and louder. Should you be wondering, I don't put a ton of her stuff in here...(i think) bc she has a website of her own that I pretty much keep detailed to her stuff. The link is in my sidebar if you're ever interested. We had the school Christmas performance last night and it was super cute. I have, however, figured out why kids are so disrespectful...it comes directly from their parents. HELLO- didn't anyone teach these people you are supposed to be quiet during a performance??? I mean these people weren't even whispering and talked during the WHOLE thing. So annoying. Had my own child not been up there, I'd have been very tempted to leave. This woman actually sat down beside me and talked almost constantly---out loud. It does not help that I'm hormonal. I just can't understand how so many people could be so rude and thoughtless of other people....

Interruption---Madeline, "what are we having for dinner?" UGH. My mind hasn't even gone there yet and it's already 430. Where did the day go? Guess, I better give up blogging for now...Maybe I can be more cheerful tomorrow.

In case you are wondering

It's been a long week of harsh reality and disappointment. I haven't blogged, although I've had intention. Every time I sat down to type, nothing would come....so here I am...Monday, five days before school is out, ten days until Christmas, ten days until I have to live with my husband for 24/7 without choking or maming him...lol, just kidding, I do love him, but it will be an adjustment to have him here all day and night every day. I'm trying to live in today and not think about tomorrow. Praying every day that Lillian will get better. Her cough doesn't seem to be hurting her (physically) at this point, so that must be a good thing. She still has green coming out, but it's looking less green. How's that for descriptive? My house is a disaster...does anyone know a cleaning fairy??? hee hee. I think she's sitting here in the chair typing...;) I have had some very humbling and undeserving experiences in the last couple of days. My children are going to have a very memorable Christmas thanks to some very giving Angels and my New Years Eve girl is going to have a birthday she won't forget. (thanks to even more Angels) I do want to say in spite of life...I try to be happy bc things could be a lot worse. A lot. Though none of recent events have been my choosing , there is a reason and the Lord is in control.

I have been tagged I think for a couple things....I'm supposed to list 7 random things about myself...so, let me see..
1. I do not like crowds
2. I only like to shop if I'm in need of something
3. I like some of the same movies I watched as a child
4. I love having a clean house, but don't love cleaning it
5. I did not get pregnant five times to try to have a boy
6. I always thought carrots would help me see better
7. I'm very literal

Now, if I remember right, I'm supposed to list five addictions
1. Mountain Dew
2. Reading (i'm on the fourth book of the Twilight series)
3. Scrapbooking/supplies/Stamping
4. chocolate
5. Sleeping

I also got another award from Vickie! Thanks a bunch bloggy buddy, I LOVE the little dog!!

And the next shoe falls...

So, I thought I was in a better disposition until while eating lunch my husband informed me that his work was shutting down for 3-4 weeks starting Dec 19. There would be no pay either. I am physically ill.

Not REAL bad news...

I'm in a bit of a funk today. Although I know I should be calling different friends and family to tell them the news...no surgery Wednesday and no new date...I cannot bring myself to do it. A weight has fallen on me. Lillian is not well enough to proceed with the planned surgery. Problem therein---she needs the surgery like in ten days so we KNOW she will be well for about a week. Guess what? Surgery schedules don't work that way...grrrr. Now they say that it won't happen until after the holidays. Question is when will we be able to get her in while she's NOT sick? I feel frustrated...irritated might be a better word. Here's how it goes, she's sick all the time because she has the open palate and the trach. They won't try to take out the trach until they close the palate...they can't close the palate until she's NOT sick...have you followed the circle? As anxious as I felt about the impending surgery, I was ready to head down the road of all things to come....all the things we've been working towards. It's like someone has taken to sitting on my chest and won't get up. ***whine alert*** I don't want her to be sick anymore, I want to be mad at anyone or strike out at someone...I want someone to say...THIS is what will happen without fail...but they can't and I can't be mad at anyone, it's wasted energy. I don't even (at this moment) have the desire to go to school and face people with a fake happiness. Or have to act like I'm ok. I'm not, I'm not happy at this moment and I'm not ok. Just somedays you don't want to face "how are you?" My girl is suffering and I just want that to stop and I can't make it stop...is there a more helpless feeling? Bethany had asked me if I would cry if she didn't have the surgery and I said to her why would I do that? Guess who cried all the way home from Indy? I find it ironically funny. *SIGHS* Tomorrow I will rise and realize again what is not happening Wednesday, knowing it will happen, just not in my time...also another bit of irony...she finally got her RSV shot today...HA!

Honesty

I've been pondering on this thought for some time. I've never admitted it, but to one person....you know who you are, 'specially after reading JM's last update. Wanting to leave her encouraging comments and say "IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT" but realizing again my hypocritical thinking. I feel terribly guilty that my child is the way she is....that she has been born with a life that may not be the one I had hoped for her. I mean, I had to take BP meds while I was pregnant, was on a med when I became pregnant (although I stopped taking it right away) We have joked for years that I am a "bad incubator". Deep down, I do feel that way. I try not to allow myself these thoughts, as the devil seizes them and uses them against me and he wins. In truth, my fault or not, she's here and she's the way she's going to be and that's ok. I love her and I'm better for having her in my life. It doesn't matter if they saw anything on the ultrasound or I declined that Downs Syndrome blood test. Perhaps there would have been an indication of what was coming... It wouldn't have changed a thing. It certainly hasn't been an easy two years, but did I ever pray for that? My whole life I've been being prepared for these very moments. Hopefully, I will have the opportunity to use my experience to help someone else. GO AWAY GUILT, stop knocking at my door. You may not be gone, but your raps are getting harder to hear.

I DO sound like a crazy person...

So, I got to thinking about my Blogaholicism and decided I would just go ahead and admit my other addictions, maybe it will help me? *hysterical evil laughter*

I'm addicted to:

Mountain Dew---I CANT stop drinking
Blogging-see previous post
Sleeping-I think I worship sleep
Purses- I can't NOT carry a purse, what's with that?
Reading-I'm a little OCD when I get started on a good one
Scrapbooking- when I'm in the groove, it's hard to walk a way
Real Arcade-online computer games that once I'm hooked I can't stop til I win
Blogging-did I list that already?
Eating out-I LOVE to cook, but I LOVE to eat out even more! This is an addiction I have trouble fulfilling!

At the present moment I can't think of much else that i consider myself addicted to....I'm sure something else will pop up eventually. Anyway, what are your "addictions" ? Don't be afraid, it's the easiest step...admitting...lol. May I also say I don't know what the second step is, so we are safe with with just admission!

Random Thoughts

I'm tired today, could it be that I went to bed at two and Lillian got up at four and then I had to get back up to take girls to dentist??? I feel like I'm in blog withdrawal, this being the first time I've been on today. Dare I admit it?? I'm a, yes, I'm saying it, (admission is the first step right?) blogaholic. I wish I had more time to flit around and read more peoples' blogs. Why is it so obsessive to want to learn about other people and their lives? And I just don't want to read the first post, I want to go through and READ it all.... AND, why do I sit here and start to stress wehn noone has posted in a while that I'm following? Don't they know I MUST be updated??? LOL. Ok, I've admitted it, time to move on. I also want to say, I just finished reading Twilight, aweome book, go out. get it.read it. you will not be disappointed. Now I must find a way to get a hold of the next three. What next? hmmm, anxious nerves ensue as December 10th draws nearer. Lillian has surgery that day and I dread it...I just want it to be over with. Hopefully this will be her last surgery to have to endure. Let us pray that the little hole in her heart that still exists is closing up all on it own....(that would be the only other surgery I can think she might have) This will be a busy weekend, Rebecca has two concerts one Saturday and two perfomances Sunday. I'm so proud of her resiliance. It does not seem to phase her at all. Bethany had a concert tonight, I'm so appalled at the behavior of these middle school kids...it just amazes me. There were boys yelling and carrying on through the whole thing. What is wrong with kids today----NO R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Sad really.

I guess I should stop typing, I feel as though my randomness is falling hopelessly into rambling.

Fourteen Years Ago

Fourteen years ago I was a wide-eyed teenager fresh out of highschool looking forward to my coming wedding in May 1995. After about a month, we began to wonder exactly what we were waiting for, so we moved the date up to December. After much upheavel (sp?) in the fam...we settled it...December 3 it would be. What I've learned?

1. You only have a short time to be a kid
2. Save some money
3. Seek good advice
4. Marriage is a two way street, don't be self-centered
5. You will reap what you sew
6. Center your marriage on Christ

Would I do it all over again...yes....would I do some things different? Maybe, I don't know, you can't go back. All you can do is look forward and learn from your mistakes.

For the second year in a row my husband has made a gourmet type lunch for us and it has been very good. He rarely cooks, but when he does, he goes all out. I love him, I need him and I pray we have many, many more years together. I didn't get a picture this year, but I'll post the one from last year.

I'm also posting a picture of our CB tree.

Oh Christmas Can???

Sing to the tune of Oh Christmas Tree...

Oh Pringles Can
Oh Pringles Can
How lovely are your
Contents
Oh Pringles Can
Oh Pringles Can
And even better
Empty

You make loud noise
When I put
My hairbrush inside
It’s fun it’s true

I have no toys
As you can see
You bring such joy

And oh the glee

Oh Pringles Can

Oh Pringles Can

How lovely you

are to me

A Charlie Brown Christmas

We lost our Christmas tree in the flood. My mom gave us a tree that was my aunt's and hubby just did not like it. We went to the Vortex today and bought a relatively cheap one....oh my goodness, it is so pitifully sad. It is the CB tree. I guess it doesn't matter, maybe we can find one after the holiday really cheap. Once it is all decorated, I'll post a pic. It has been one crazy evening. Rebecca had practice from five thirty to eight forty-five. We went out for dinner due to time issues and went to Fazoli's. The service was terrible and they weren't even busy. I hate when we go out to eat and it's awful bc we just don't get to do it much. GRRR.

Me wee little daughter does not have her RSV shot yet, which I find highly annoying. Sometimes, I think if I could get my hands on some office professionals, I might turn into the weed and the flower cartoon, you know that one right?? What the mean weed does to the pretty flower? I just do not understand why everything has to be a battle.

Lillian is supposed to be in Indy at 0-dark hundred in the morning and I have absolutely no desire to make that drive so early. ICK. If the weather gets ickier I don't think I will. Little Missy is down here playing with Mr. Potato Head, seemingly not at all ready for bed...hmmmm this is a problem. Better go and try to get her snoozy.