Thursday, November 13, 2008
Hypocrite Much?
I spent a portion of the evening speaking with a friend, someone who knows what life is like for me....I kept saying, don't feel that way....I'm such a hypocrite...I have the same feelings. I'm overwhelmed, feel like I can't do enough, worry what others think (obsessively). Truth is, I should just spend time thinking I do as much as I can (I think). Noone is an island. We are not meant to do it alone, although at times it seems we do. Why do we do this to ourselves? Nature? Am I surviving? I think that'a all I'm doing, surviving. In just "surviving" I feel like I'm failing, when it truth, I'm just doing the best I can right now. We are our own worst enemies. It's uncomfortable to be in the unknown all the time...to feel like I don't know what I'm doing or if what I'm doing is enough. Is there an end in sight...no, will there be more days like these, yes. Can I do a thing about it, no...just survive.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
I'm sitting here thinking the same thing. You can tell me I'm doing enough, and I can tell you that you're doing enough, yet neither of us can say it to ourselves. We're quite a pair! Thanks for the call. I spend such a part of my day trying to act like I have it all together, when in reality I feel like I'm falling short at every single thing. The job. The kids. The house. Myself. I feel like I'm a fraction of who I used to be, when in reality I'm exponentially more than I was before. In some ways. But I still feel like I can never measure up to the expectations I set for myself. UGH!
I just told my husband the other day, "I feel like I am doing 100 things....but I'm not doing any of them WELL...and I hate that". It's tough to be a wife, mom, taxi cab driver, etc....even with typical kids, but you throw a child with special needs in the mix and it makes it even more challenging.
You have a beautiful family! Lilly is such a cutie. I'm glad that I found your blog:).
Post a Comment